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Dear Annie: An online relationship is always cheating

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Dear Annie: My husband has always been unfaithful to me. He says it’s not cheating because he can’t help it. I have forgiven him five times.

Recently I found out that he was going to a website where a girl was talking to him on webcam. In exchange for their virtual time together, he buys her jewelry, clothes and other gifts.

He sends him pictures of his own life: for example, pictures of when we watched fireworks with the grandchildren – except that the pictures are just fireworks, and he does not mention that ‘he was with his wife and grandchildren.

Usually I never pay attention to the phone bill, but this month I looked – and found out that he had sent and received over 17,000 texts. He was texting with women he had met on a dating site. He said it wasn’t cheating since he wasn’t having sex. But I think emotional cheating is worse. I’m at the end of my rope. Should I just get a divorce and go? Please help. – Ms. Junk

Dear Madam.: I refuse to call you that “U” word because your husband’s behavior is none of your business. If anything, it shows he has issues around his own desirability. Maybe he’s so insecure that he has to constantly seek validation from women he barely knows – and / or suffers from sex addiction. (You can read more about this at https://saa-recovery.org/) However, the root of his problems does not matter if he is unwilling to seek a cure. If your husband shows no willingness to change his behavior, then leaving may indeed be the best solution. Listen to your heart and find out what this desires.

Dear Annie: I really need your insight. I have a male best friend. He’s been married for a while now, but he’s already said he thinks I really am his wife. I think about the world of him; I like our long conversations. And I notice he never raises his wife around me. What should I do? – Burn in North Carolina

Dear Burning: Stop, drop, and step out of this man’s life so you can fend for yourself. He is using you to avoid working on his marriage. And why would you want to be with a man who treats his wife this way? You deserve to be with someone who gives you your all, and I promise they are out there somewhere.

Dear Annie: I wanted to respond to the letter from “Excuse You,” who complained that her new boyfriend was constantly burping after eating. My 36 year old husband also had this problem for the first 20 years of our marriage. I also thought it was just a gross habit, but then read that it could be a symptom of acid reflux or inefficient digestion of food (indigestion). I gave her a good probiotic from a vitamin store every day for a few months to grow the “good” bacteria in her gut and could see the difference in the first two weeks. Good bacteria are needed to break down food and are destroyed when taking antibiotics. He continues to take probiotics, but only a few days a week because he is not a very healthy eater. The burp is gone and we are much happier about it. – Joyce

Dear Joyce: Probiotics have been shown to sometimes help improve a range of digestive and gastrointestinal problems, including acid reflux. I urge anyone to speak with their doctor first before deciding on the best course of action.

Seen previous columns “Dear Annie”

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