Home Dating apps Kittenfishing is the toxic dating trend we’re probably all guilty of

Kittenfishing is the toxic dating trend we’re probably all guilty of

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Does the bench, the breadcrumbs, the breeze, the cushioning, negation, monopolize and pocket ring a bell? What about catfishing? Introduced to the world of dating in the 2010 documentary film titled Catfish, the term refers to the deceptive practice of pretending to be a completely different person online than they are in real life. A catfish typically steals another individual’s identity (including their photos, date of birth, and geographic location), avoids showing their face in video calls, and makes up stories that are often too good to tell. be true.

In Catfishphotographer Nev Schulman documented his own journey to find out who was really behind the long-distance relationship he had with the 19-year-old singer named “Megan.” Eventually, he finds out that the person on the other end of the line – whom he spoke to in hundreds of texts, Facebook posts and phone calls – was a middle-aged Michigan-based man.

Although Schulman went on to create the MTV series Catfish: The TV Show, we’re here to recognize a growing offspring of catfishing today – of which, to be honest, we’re all guilty to some degree. Welcome to the wildly exaggerated world of kittensin. Now, before you ask, no, this toxic dating trend has nothing to do with little furry munchkins dipping their paws in water or staring rather eagerly at an aquarium.

What is Kitten Fishing?

Invented by dating app Hinge in 2017 kittyfishing is the diet version of catfishing if you will, a tactic where you deliberately misrepresent yourself online, but not to the extreme extent that you have a full fledged fake identity with a fake passport and a fake accent. Consider deploying little white lies, like exaggerating your height, age, and interests or even adding a country or two to those you’ve actually seen, all in the hopes of snagging a potential date.

A kitten fisherman is an expert at improving his dating profile. Whether it’s with tiny tweaks (like sprucing up their job title and lifestyle to make them look more impressive), or full-blown antics (like using old and heavily edited photos of them- same to match the adjusted age description), a fishing kitten would bend the truth about everything to round up their matches’ favors. Heck, examples of the internet dating trend also include bald men—excusesthe males with thinning hair down to the nape of their necks, wearing hats in all their snaps.

Essentially, kittenfishing refers to a well-meaning phenomenon: painting yourself in a more positive light. What harm could that do, could it? According to a study by Pew Research Centerit is Internet and American Life Project, more than half of online daters (54 percent) admit that their matches have been “severely misinterpreted” in their dating profiles. When the hinge interrogates its users, they found that 38% of men and 24% of women said they had been fished on the platform. What’s more interesting is that only 2% of males and 1% of females admitted to kitty fishing. someone else. Simply put, the toxic dating strategy is so elusive that people don’t even realize they’re doing it.

To research further proved that men generally exaggerate their height while women are more prone to play with details about their weight. Statistics collected by the dating app OkCupid further away Noted that the more attractive a photo is, the more likely it is to be outdated.

Although kitty fishing is a light version of cat fishing, the dating tactic can have serious consequences for a relationship. Of course, reducing your age by a year or two does not appear like a big deal when you haven’t even set up a lunch date with your match yet, however, the further the in-person meeting goes, the more likely it’s going to be that you’ve based the whole relationship on a lie. And we all know how that usually ends.

“The most important element for a successful and lasting relationship is trust, so when you lie in your profile, you only set your date up for disappointment when their expectations don’t match reality,” Damona Hoffmandating coach and host of the Dates and Companions podcast, says HuffPost. “You may be able to go on a few first dates with secrets, but if your relationship evolves, you’ll eventually have to come clean. It could spell the end of an otherwise great partnership,” the expert continued. It’s a missed opportunity to find someone who will love you just the way you are.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0VuUfrzsTM

Are you kittenfished?

At this point, I’m pretty sure most of you remember your kitty fishing experiences or realize you might be guilty of the crime yourself, which has become commonplace in the dating world. today. Either way, here are some tips to help you spot kittenfishing before it gets out of hand, as the psychologist recommends. Ana Jovanovic in an interview with BNC News.

1. Watch out for inconsistent claims

At this point, I’m pretty sure most of you remember your kitty fishing experiences or realize you might be guilty of the crime yourself, which has become commonplace in the dating world. today. Either way, here are some tips to help you spot kittenfishing before it gets out of hand, as the psychologist recommends. Ana Jovanovic in an interview with BNC News.

2. Lack of detail

Then there is the lack of details surrounding the element of a person’s life that they lied to you about. If, for example, someone has embellished their job title in their dating profile, they can avoid going into detail about what their job entails because there may be a good chance they will accidentally reveal the truth. explaining it.

3. Idealistic self-presentation

Finally, according to Jovanovic, if it looks like your match has no flaws, chances are it’s too good to be true. At this point, it’s up to you whether you want to investigate further. But Jovanovic ultimately advises asking yourself: what is the person trying to cover up or lie about, how bad is the kittenfishing, and how important is that to you? “You will have to make your decision on what to do based on the answer to this question,” added the expert.

Or…are you the kitten fisherman?

Whether it’s with an edited selfie or adding a few inches to your height, if you think you’ve fished someone else out, it’s time to address the speculation once and for all. In these terms, Jovanovic recommends asking yourself the following questions and answering them honestly:

1. If someone were to meet me now, what differences would they find between who I am online and in person?

This is one of the most basic exercises you can do to analyze if you’ve fished your matches. Imagine showing up on a date with someone you met online. Would they easily recognize you from your photos? Of course we all have good angles, but are you intentionally tweaking the way you look on the internet a little too far?

2. How many white lies did I tell this person?

In an interview with Hustle, Chris Armstrongrelationship coach and founder of Labyrinth of love, explained how kitty fishing has become a common practice today, since dating is a competitive sport and we all feel the effects of it. “So we resort to embellishment,” amstrong mentioned. “We do what we need to gain an advantage. Second, we believe it’s harmless and our charm and wit will prevail in the end. But the sad truth is that even if you sing, “I know I’m not quite six feet tall, but she’ll love my sense of humor,” you might land a first date but ruin your chances of The following.

3. How do I think this person would describe me? Is that how I would describe myself too?

Disclaimer: The answer to this question may come as a shock if you think you’ve engaged in the dating strategy in question.

4. If a close friend who knows me well and this person were talking about me, would they be able to recognize me as the same person?

A good beginner exercise is to get feedback on your dating profile from your close friends. Cringy, I know. But the information you’ll receive is bound to be the most honest, which will help you put your best foot forward and analyze whether you’ve been misleading your matches from the start.

Now, if you really think about it, kitty fishing was a thing long before dating apps came into existence. Your parents may have won over by slightly changing their GPA and life goals. Heck, here in India families have outright lied about their healthy dynamics to land matrimonial matches for centuries.

While we may not completely eradicate kittenfishing from the dating sphere anytime soon, it’s time to at least be aware of the toxic practice — and the sooner the better.