The pandemic has transformed the way we search for love, according to a survey by dating app Bumble. People are more open to trying new things, he found, with 48% of singles describing their approach to romance this year as “exploratory”.
New dating opportunities mean new trends and a whole host of new terms, from “coronesty” to “oystering.” Here, relationship experts discuss dating trends that should be on your radar if you’re looking for love.
The pandemic has made many people realize that life is short, so why waste time when you’re not online? “Coronesty” describes daters’ willingness to be honest with themselves, as well as others, about what they want from relationships.
Emyli Lovz, co-founder of relationship coaching and matchmaking service emlovz, said Newsweek that being open about your intentions is never a bad thing. “Coronesty will take you far,” she said.
Fast forward refers to a relationship moving at breakneck speed but, according to dating and relationship coach Megan Weks, it’s a fast track to heartbreak.
She said Newsweek“Unfortunately, this is a trend among those who are less self-aware and exhibit more toxic behaviors in relationships.”
groundhog day is an excellent romantic comedy, but “the marmot” is not so good for your love life. The term was coined by dating app Inner Circle to describe people who date the same guy over and over again, but expect a different outcome.
Lovz said, “Groundhog is fine if you get a fulfilling experience, but if it’s not serving you, you need to examine those patterns and find out why you attract that type of partner.”
You’re thrilled to get a message from a hot match – until you open it and realize they’re a “hey-ter”. According to Lovz, showing up on potential dates with a “Hey” or another effortless greeting is a big no-no.
“This is the worst way to start a conversation with someone you just met on a dating app. Think of something they said on their profile and use that to come up with a date idea. you.”
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They haven’t messaged you in six months, but they like your selfies within minutes of uploading them. “Orbiting” (like a planet) is when someone ghosts you, but is still looking at your Instagram Stories and Facebook posts. Weks recommends not bothering with these social media soul suckers.
“Focus on those who are making real efforts to deepen a relationship with you,” she said.
About 53% of Bumble users told its survey that they are happy to be single right now. If you are one of those, “The Oyster” is for you. Invented by dating app Badoo, the practice encourages people to “see the world as their oyster” and live without worrying about romance.
It’s a chance to find each other, “to take the time to explore and find out what will make you truly happy in a partnership,” Weks added.
Is a potential partner not introducing you to family or friends? Depending on the length of your relationship, they may “pocket” you. Lovz explains that this is an update on the loot call.
“There’s a good chance they’re not considering a long-term relationship,” she said. “It would be nice if they used their coronesty to tell you how they feel.”
It means taking the time to get to know someone before meeting for a first date, allowing a potential couple to build a real connection. Weks recommends this technique to his clients and believes it leads to stronger, longer lasting relationships.
“The pandemic challenged the dating process because people had to really get to know each other to see if they should ‘risk’ meeting them. This is a change that’s here to stay,” she said.
You’re also less likely to end up in a catfishing situation if you get to know your date first.
Has a torrent of steamy WhatsApp messages slowed to a trickle? This is called the “slow fade”. Your match may be losing interest or trying to gently drop into you ghosting at an icy pace.
Whatever form it takes, ghosting is unfortunately here to stay, Weks said. “It’s due to people’s lack of communication on sensitive topics.”
It’s not the instant regret you feel after clicking send a bad joke, but an attempt to ditch your usual type in favor of something new. COVID has made singles more willing to date people they wouldn’t usually go to, according to Bumble, with 43% of respondents wondering if their usual type is working for them.
Lovz said “decoding” was common, especially for people who had just gotten out of a bad relationship.
“You rebel against a bad experience of ‘your type’ and experiment. It brings new experiences into your life and can help you learn what ‘your type’ really is.”
“Whelming” is when someone brags about how many matches they have on apps when they’re on a date because they think it will make them more desirable. Besides being sticky, it’s redundant bragging, Weks said.
“The common strategy of dating apps is to cast a very wide net. Matches on dating apps are meaningless unless they manifest as an actual date.”
That person who ghosted you weeks ago, who you kind of hoped was dead? They are back and haunting your DMs. Weks recommends avoiding “zombies” unless you want your heart eaten.
“Most zombies are looking for thrills. They had found something more interesting that didn’t work, so they come back to you.”
Lovz agrees: “This person is not very respectful and definitely not a good communicator. Get out of there.”