Home Dating apps Recipes for love and happy relationships with the philosopher Alain de Botton

Recipes for love and happy relationships with the philosopher Alain de Botton

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Changes in society and culture have had significant impacts on our relationships and our views on marriage. A hundred years ago, marriage was for security, a family, or even the result of family pressure. Cultural shifts and emancipation, longer lifespans, and dating apps have changed this paradigm.

So what are we looking for in our relationships? Should a spouse be a soul mate, a lover and a best friend?

While the complexities of modern love have opened up a whole new world, they have also brought disappointment and frustration. Has love lost its luster or do we lose our way when we focus too much on the wrong things?


“The School of Life: An Emotional Education” is a guide to exploring relationships. Photo courtesy of School of Life. Photo of Alain De Botton by Vincent Starr.

Philosopher, co-founder and president of the School of Life, Alain de Botton has made it his mission to teach the relevance of philosophy in everyday life. His books include “Essays in Love”, “Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person” and “How Proust Can Change Your Life”..

Jonathan Bastian speaks with de Botton about societal pressures on the modern relationship and hears advice on how to embrace our partners’ imperfections and allow for compassion and understanding.

“A partner,” says de Botton, “should be able to forgive us for our strangeness and have tenderness for our more awkward sides.”

And de Botton suggests an alternative to a candlelight date:

“The most appealing thing you can do to your partner is to start asking them questions like, ‘How did I frustrate you? What is it about our relationship that sometimes gets you down? What could we do better? What do you still like about me? And how could I change to make things better for you? »

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