Home dating industry What to do if you are being bullied on dating apps

What to do if you are being bullied on dating apps


Dick’s photos – they may be the bane of our collective online dating lives, but that doesn’t mean they have to be. In fact, while there are no specific laws in place requiring apps to protect you from harassment, any dating operation worth its salt will have a robust reporting procedure in place designed to allow you to control the types of harassment. communications you receive. And it’s not just up to you to push them away: there’s a lot more to do than opting for a virtual martini glass in the face emoji.

Dating apps use a variety of procedures in this case, but at The inner circle where I consult, we have a strong reporting process – and we are still refining it. In addition to allowing users to block and then report anyone who offends them on the app themselves, whenever we receive a complaint we usually ask for the details (via description and screenshots of posts) , then, in most cases, outright block the offending user with immediate effect.

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In strange ambiguous situations – for example, if someone gives a potentially offensive but not explicit compliment – we notify the user that they have received an anonymous complaint (we never reveal your identity) against them and give them a strict warning to put their house in order. If we receive a second complaint about the same user from someone on the app, they are automatically banned. Of course, the system is not flawless – but we do everything possible to ensure a pleasant and hassle-free experience for our members.

So that’s our side. But if you find yourself the recipient of offensive attention, what exactly should YOU do?

1. Use an app where people are verified

Apps are divided into those that use other types of social media like Facebook and LinkedIn to verify your app and those that don’t. Go for the first type – from the start it lowers your chances of harassment, as being connected to other networks has been shown to improve general behavior and ways of users. At The Inner Circle, we take it a step further – you have to be manually approved by a team that verifies you on a number of genuinely populated social channels. This creates a community of members who are accountable to each other from the start.

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2. Know what constitutes harassment and then report it

Neil Brown, Managing Director of Legal decoded explains: “Depending on what happens, different offenses can be committed. Harassment usually happens when someone contacts you repeatedly despite having told them not to, for example. Sending malicious, threatening, or obscene communications (such as threats of rape or unwanted sex photos) can also be a crime.

It sounds obvious, but it is a known phenomenon that many people experience harassment and do nothing to report it, but instead close their own accounts. Don’t be intimidated: the law – and the enforcement – are in fact on your side. Instead, immediately block the user in question and then report them.

3. Capture the evidence

Contrary to popular belief, dating apps cannot actually read private messages between users. In order to ensure that the offending user is properly deleted and to prevent them from abusing others, most apps will ask for more details about what happened. Capture offensive messages and send them with details to helpdesk. This prevents a slippery offender from challenging the grievance.

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4. WhatsApp still counts

The big advantage of dating apps is that they allow you to contact people without giving out your direct contact details. Be aware of people asking you to switch to other messaging apps too soon. But in case you’ve moved the conversation from the app to another messaging service, you can still submit the messages as evidence to the app and ask for the user to be kicked out – and they’ll be happy with the report, because it helps keep the app a safe and pleasant space for other people. As before, just capture the messages and send them to the help desk.

5. Report it to the police

While apps with a conscience will do all they can to take your complaint seriously and protect your well-being, only the police can truly protect you and prosecute someone in case they make your life hell. Neil Brown explains, “If you’re concerned about your safety, your first port of call should be the police, not the app provider. Even if the app provider has mechanisms in place to contact the police, it is unlikely that they will be able to help you as quickly as if you called 999.

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What usually happens is that the police then get in touch with the app and request additional information that they can use to lay a charge against an offending courier. Keep in mind that it is in the best interests of a dating app to cooperate with the police, as failure to do so could effectively obstruct justice, not to mention the repercussions of having a stalker. major in the system that just continues to mistreat more people. So the next time some asshole clogs your inbox, don’t panic and get taken offline. Just block, report and remember that you have the power to control who and how you talk to people online.

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